My reflection (20sec read)

This is a note I wrote last year at round about the same period as now and it is just an interpretation of how I saw the life of a new friend that I had just met. I do not think she would appreciate me mentioning anymore details so I hope you guys can make it your own story so you can understand it in your own way.

Every time I take a step forward

It seems like i have been here before

Every time I venture out to a new experience

I realize I have done this before

I look in the mirror only to find a replica of me

Covered in dislike and disapproval I shy away

So much to say

But no ears to receive it

So much to do

But no motivation behind it

And so much love to give

But still no heart to take it in

My life is not my own

For I live in the shadow of my other half

Poetry Princess

My ideal is my reality

I actually found this on my pc, I was not even sure if I had written it lol I know right? It just sounded so mature and articulate (not that I’m neither I just have my moments). I am a student of my own mind, and so I am yet to identify with what exactly it is that I can accomplish with it. Anywaaaaaaay this is something I have been struggling to understand with a couple of people who seem to know what they want but struggle to believe in getting what they want.

Many times I come across these words, “well that is just how it would be if things were ideal”, and often I think to myself, this ideal world is actually my reality. The sad reality though is that we have become a society that has stopped believing in the good things of life. We have accepted the harsh realities that we have come to face as the norm of this life, so in turn we refuse ourselves to dream of a better life and more so a better love. I have been having this argument continuously with friends, that I want a so and so type of person and how they would like a so and so forth type of person as well but “they” know that nowadays such people do not exist so they willing to settle for less!? I think I get a sort of chill when someone says well at least he/she is not that bad or “but I mean we cannot always get what we want so let me work with what is given to me.”  

My argument in that is that if you do not believe that that so called is around for you somewhere then for sure you will not find that person, do not blame society and its way of life for not being able to meet that sort of person but rather blame yourself for the lack of faith. “For we focus our eyes not on things that are seen but on things that are unseen, because things that are seen are temporary, and those unseen are eternal”, 2Corinthians4: 18, a verse that I have come to appreciate over time as it questions and strengthens ones faith.

I for one am not a specialist or any sort of relationship counsellor but I know exactly what it is that I want and I know that it’s very much so attainable. In this life time you have to teach yourself one thing and one thing only, your life is only as great as your faith. Well at least that is what I think.

If you believe in good things for your life then that is exactly what you will receive in it.

Paulo Coehlo(my new favourite author) writes that “… when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”  

Can I start over?

This next poem(I think I have a problem with calling my writings "poems" hey, I don't know what it is but I'm not particularly in favour of calling it that, I would much rather call it thoughts, or maybe pieces of writing as you might have seen with my previous posts, but everyone seems to call it poetry so yes I am being a follower, I have no back bone so sue, actually bite me lol), what a long parenthesis, anyway this 'poem' was one of my personal favourites, I don't  know why actually, it just spoke to me I guess, but I as go through it now, I'm not particularly fond of it, it comes across as though one has gone through their life with regret and obviously that is not the case, but nonetheless it is still a beautiful piece, not to blow my own horn or anything.

Can I take it from the beginning?
Can I talk with no sense
Can I laugh for no reason
Can I cry for attention
Can crawl instead
Please, may I start over again?
Can I not think for once?
Can I go out to play
Can I have that first day at school again
Will it do me any good if I redo all of this?
Can I write with no meaning
Can I sing with 'made-up' lyrics of a song I like
Can I watch in awe the simple things of life
Can I not meet them
Can I not lose her when I need her the most in my life
Can I write with no experience
Can I hurt no more
Can I not shed a tear of pain
Can I not be disturbed
Can I make them understand
Is it a bad idea to want to go back and change it all?


Poetry Princess

Never Knew

When one gets to university one realises that most of the tales that are told about "varsity" are not so far-fetched as one might have thought. The streets  are alive at night, the quiet indoor girl is suddenly miss popularity, the education is as tough as ever, and your highschool friends have gone their separate ways so making friends is one more thing to add on your to do list but one thing still remains unchanged and that is my love for writing... This next flow of thoughts is not exactly my first piece in 'varsity' but it's the one that I thought I should share first. As cliche as it sounds unversity is a place where one discovers who their real friends and sometimes lovers are hehe, but most importantly you get to discover yourself. Not to say  that those that haven't discovered themselves yet are  slow or anything lol. ok enough of the random speech...

Never knew I could strike in a similar manner
Words so hurtful, enough to paint  on a banner
Never knew I could burn out witth such ease
When it all seemed like such a breeze
Never knew I could surrender to their criticism
Because I had a good thing going
Never knew I had so much unresolved issues
Until I broke down in my box of tissues
Never knew the kind of friends I had
Till they showed me how easy it was to break the bond
Never knew how much of a story I had to tell
Until I was asked to do so
Never knew I had no one to rely on
But me, myself and my notepad
Never knew I could write so much sadness
Only to have people couple it with poetry
I guess I just never knew that I don't know anything at this point!


Poetry Princess